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Life is full of ups and downs. There might be days, weeks, months or even years where sex comes (excuse the pun) easy for you. Other times, not so much. 

Humans are complex beings. Our sex drive and libido are influenced by a whole host of factors, some of them obvious (the relationship between you and your partner) and some of them no-so-obvious (your stress levels and sense of self). The good news, though, is that no matter where you’re at in life, you can boost your libido when you’re in a bit of a funk – here’s how: 

Stop making excuses 

The buck stops with you. When our libido is low, the first thing we do is look for someone or something to blame. “A few of the most common excuses would be, ‘we’re so tired by the end of the day that all we want to do is sleep,’ ‘the kids are gone and we never get a break without them so the last thing we feel like doing is sex,’ or ‘financially we’re really stressed at the moment and that’s affecting our sex life” says Juliet Allen, leading Australian sexologist, and founder of Yinn. and Pleasure School™. 

The reality is this: if you consider sex to be a priority in your life and your relationship, you have to actively make it one. That means letting go of the excuses and rediscovering the purpose of your relationship. Usually, when couples meet, sparks fly and sex is a priority. Over time, work, kids and commitments creep in until suddenly, you’re relying on each other for everything and not prioritising what brought you together in the first place.

Get to know your body 

The pace of modern life can be dizzying at times; take time to slow down and get to know every curve of your beautiful body. Self-pleasure is an opportunity to reconnect with your true self and sexual essence. Of course, you can do this on your own or heighten your experience (and amp up the sensation) with Yinn™ Body Oil.

Start by adding a few drops of Yinn™ Body Oil to your palms before rubbing them together. If you’re short on time, gently explore one part of your body, such as your breasts, sending yourself love as you do. If time is not an issue, why not take yourself to bed and massage your whole body with Yinn™ Body Oil? Whether you do or don’t orgasm is up to you – after all, self-pleasure is a journey, not a destination.

Approach your sex life with a sense of curiosity 

“My theory is that how we approach sex as individuals is how we approach life,” Allen says on The Authentic Sex Podcast. “If you approach sex with curiosity and enthusiasm, and you’re curious about what you enjoy and don’t enjoy, I think you’re more likely to be curious in the rest of your life.” 

Stop and think: what type of career do I want to have? What kind of adventures do I want to go on? What kind of person do I want to be? If you can foster a sense of adventure in your everyday life, that inquisitive attitude will help spice things up in the bedroom, too. Next time you’re in bed and things are getting hot and heavy, ask yourself, ‘what really turns me on?’ and go from there.

Invest in the right kind of sex toy

Have you tried The Juliet Pleasure Wand™? Unlike more traditional vibrating sex toys which can numb the vagina or clitoris, The Juliet Pleasure Wand™ will bring more awareness to your vagina and gently awaken sensation internally, focusing on the cervix and G-spot. There are three iterations to choose from: Rose Quartz (best for opening the heart chakra), Black Obsidian (best for clearing the build-up of psychic smog within your aura) and Clear Quartz (best for amplifying sexual energy). Use The Juliet Pleasure Wand™, along with Yinn™ The Lubricant, to explore your body with intention. Slow and steady wins the race – take time to notice each sensation as it cums comes.

Rest. Receive. Surrender.