UNDER THE COVERS

Dive ‘Under The Covers’ with Yinn and friends in our series dedicated to exploring, honouring, and celebrating our intimate individualism. Together we discuss sexuality, self-love, culture, pleasure essentials, and so much more juicy goodness!

An interview with our Yinn Brand Ambassador Ruby Josif who works as Certified Sex Coach & Yoni Massage Practitioner.

Q) Tell us a little bit about yourself and what you do. 

I'm a Certified Holistic Sex Coach, a Female Sexuality Specialist, a Feminine Embodiment Practitioner, and a Certified Therapeutic Yoni Massage Practitioner.

I work one-on-one with women, with couples and with groups and combine my diverse training in sexology, Neo-tantra, embodiment and the erotic arts to provide my clients with a holistic, non-judgmental, gentle and open approach to sexual healing, the cultivation of erotic aliveness and conscious relating. Through my integrated approach, I specialise in gently supporting and guiding my clients to overcome sexual challenges, come home to the truth of their body and come into connection with their authentic needs, desires and boundaries so they can feel empowered not only in their experience of sex, pleasure and relating, but also in their life as a whole!

I’m so passionate about helping people to unravel the layers of subconscious patterning, behaviours and stories that they play out or hold within their physical body or mental, emotional, energetic and sexual system, as I find it is often these subconscious pieces that prevent us from exploring and expressing our true sexual essence and nature the most.

One of the most important values that I hold both personally and professionally, is to embody what I teach, so naturally I spend a lot of my time deepening my own embodiment and pleasure practices. Pleasure, rest and deepening my relationship with myself is a huge priority in my life, whether it be my relationship to the sexual and erotic or otherwise.

I’m also a lover, partner, daughter, sister, friend and dog mama. I lead a relatively, very simple, peaceful life situated in the beautiful South West of Australia where I have recently put some roots down after spending most of my twenties travelling and exploring the world. I love living a slow, grounded, pleasure-filled life at the moment. I am an avid reader, gardener and beach bunny and I primarily spend my downtime with people I love, sharing good food, music, deep conversations, art and preferably immersed in nature. 
 

Q) Where can people find you? 

@ruby.josif.sex.coach
www.ruby-josif.com

I’ve been featured on a few podcast episodes and the links are available on my website.

 

Q) What was the main message about sex and sexuality that you received growing up?

I was incredibly blessed to be raised by two very open-minded, hippie parents. Nudity, sexuality and pleasure weren’t shame-filled topics in my house. I also grew up in a fairly alternative community, surrounded by same-sex relationships, conversations of home birth, feminism and breastfeeding mums. I never felt ashamed of my body at home, it wasn’t until the inevitable appalling sex education, nasty comments, belittling and gossip that occurred in school did I started to feel self-conscious about my body and get taught that my sexuality was a dangerous, shameful and wrong thing.

When I started having my first sexual experiences, my mum was incredibly supportive of me exploring my sexuality in a super safe way. She had discussions with me about sex being something that should be pleasurable, and even though 15-year-old me cringed at the time, I look back now and I am so deeply grateful for those impactful conversations that she had with me that were so different from the conversations my friends were having with their parents, if at all. I attribute my parents normalising the humanness of sex, pleasure and nudity to my open mindedness surrounding these topics, which was felt by my peers. From a young age, I have always been a non-judgemental, safe space/person for people to share their sex and love-related secrets or ask for guidance or advice. 

Q) How did you begin to explore and establish your own beliefs around this topic? 

In my early sexual experiences and witnessing the aftermath of my peers, I learnt very quickly that it wasn’t safe in my school years to be the sexually open, promiscuous and curious person that I was. I witnessed many of my friends be ruthlessly gossiped about and shamed for being “too slutty” or “too prudish”. As a result, I became very secretive about my sexuality and my sexual expression because I was scared to receive the same treatment. This meant I began to hide and compress the fullness of my sexual expression, my desires and my curiosities.

When I was in my late teens and early twenties, I made some beautiful friendships with women who were deeply immersed in the Neo-Tantric community and learning from and meeting these women was such permission for me to begin to openly explore the depth and breadth of my sexual essence. I very quickly began to journey deeply down my path of sexual liberation, exploring lots of different modalities and having lots of different wild, wonderful and also not-so-wonderful sexual experiences with people of all kinds and walks of life. My journey of sexual liberation felt so true and so freeing, it’s almost like I had no choice but to journey it, it chose me.

Q) If you had the chance, what would you tell your younger self about sex now? 

Be discerning about who you allow access to your magnificent sexual energy and by extension, mind, body and heart. There will always be an emotional and energetic exchange when it comes to sex, no matter how you are relating with the other person or people, so casual or not, choose people who treat you with love, respect and kindness and who give your sexual essence and expression the reverence it deserves.

Q) What inspired you to do the work you do?

After experiencing the opening of my body, mind, heart, sex and energy while walking my own path of sexual liberation, and witnessing how deeply it transformed not only myself and my relationships, but literally every aspect of my life - I felt so inspired to share this with other people, particularly other women like myself. I believe that our relationship with ourselves is the most important relationship we have in this life as it informs every other point of connection that we experience.

 

Q) What do you love about your body?

I love how sensitive, sensational and orgasmic my body is and my capacity to experience lots of pleasure because of this.

Q) What are your top 3 pleasure essentials?

1. The Oil Based Lubricant by Yinn
I have been using this for YEARS and I never go anywhere without it.

2. My embodiment practice
This practice supports my relationship to how present and safe I feel in my body, it helps me regulate my nervous system, it allows me to cultivate my erotic energy and for my sexual system to open, which then informs my capacity to feel present with pleasure in my sexual experiences - this is also something I teach as it has truly changed my life and experience of pleasure in all areas.

3. My environment is so important to me, I love range and variety in my sexual experiences - anything from super rough, kinky and gritty to utterly devotional, soft and sensual. I love it when my environment is reflective of the kind of experience I’m creating. The right music, lighting and lots of space are essential.

Q) Favourite song to get you in the mood? 

Poetry: How Does It Feel, Akua Naru

Check out Yinn's range of sensual playlists here.

Q) Do you have any particular people in your life who inspire you to be a sexually empowered person?

All of the women closest to me in my life are so incredibly inspiring, over the years I have cultivated such special friendships with women who each have a deep connection with their unique sexual essences and who encourage me to share mine. My mum and Aunty also religiously read my newsletters and Instagram posts and constantly encourage and inspire me to continue to share my work with people of all genders and all ages. I’m very lucky to be surrounded by such incredible, supportive and inspiring people.

 

Q) Favourite ritual related to sex?

I love the ritual of devotionally giving to my partner with no expectation that he will return the “favour” afterwards, or vice versa. I feel like this is such a beautiful way to create a super nourishing experience for one another and to really explore and enhance our experience of pleasure with no expectation of reciprocation.
 

Q) What’s an unexpected moment that brought you pleasure this week?

Making out with my man while we were covered in paint and filthy while renovating our home. We were so dirty, but did not care. Super hot.

Q) How important do you believe it is to embrace our sexuality?

I believe it is an essential part of our humanity to embrace the unique flavours of our sexuality, however, that looks to each of us. 

 

Q) What do self-care and self-love look like for you?  

Self-care and self-love to me are living in alignment with my cycle, emotions, needs, desires and boundaries and nurturing the deep relationship that I have with myself and my body. This can look like prioritising pleasure and play, being honest with myself and others, moving gently and lovingly or nourishing my body with good food, sex and movement. I see self-care and self-love as an essential part of my life and I approach this holistically and intentionally incorporate it every day of my life.

Enjoyed this article? Check out Sarah and Brad's piece His and Her Guide: Embracing Toys for Deeper Intimacy.