UNDER THE COVERS
Dive ‘Under The Covers’ with Yinn and friends in our new series dedicated to exploring, honouring, and celebrating our intimate individualism. Together we discuss sexuality, self-love, culture, pleasure essentials, and so much more juicy goodness!
An interview with Sex, Intimacy and Erotic Blueprint Coach Melissa Louise
Q) What was the main message about sex and sexuality that you received growing up?
This secrecy created a heavy cloud around the subject which made it illusive, yet at the same time if the sex was not great in your marriage, that was to be accepted as well. I was told there is so much more to a relationship than sex and wanting it to be good was asking too much. We just needed to accept what we were given. It was so confusing.
There was also a very heavy flavour that any sexual issues were the female’s fault: she wanted too much, if she received attention, it was her fault. I never heard that the boys had to modify their behaviour, only the girls. All unwanted sexual attention was due to the girls asking for it, not the boys giving it without consent.
Q) How did you begin to explore and establish your own beliefs around sex and sexuality?
When I was 17 years old, I lived in Paraguay for a year. I met many girls and boys from Europe that had such relaxed and mature attitudes towards sex. Also, living in South America the men were so smooth and adoring, coming from Australia it was absolute heaven. To be told openly how beautiful I was with no shame was incredible. That year I felt that so much started to make sense, and I realized how afraid of sex I had been raised to be, yet all around me were people with attitudes of how normal sex was.
I always felt like an outsider as I moved back to Australia. Working in the gold mining industry and on stations I was continuously surrounded by a drinking culture that made being a woman in these situations dangerous. I was always on high alert, whilst being quite angry and confused that sex was only something talked about and done with alcohol involved. It was not until I moved to Sydney in my late 20’s that I felt sex was something I had an equal say in.
Q) If you had the chance, what would you tell your younger self about sex now?
Q) How important do you believe it is to embrace our sexuality?
Without embracing our sexuality, we are existing, not thriving or living. It is our birthright.
Q) What do self-care and self-love look like for you?
Each day I massage my breasts, dance, and swim in the ocean. I flirt, I masturbate, I use my jade egg. I have a thousand cushions I lay about on, I always wear satin and silk night gowns all day, I even go out in them sometime if I can’t be fucked changing. I am known to get out of bed, put on some boots and earrings and go on a date! Self-love is doing what I want! Not what society says I should be doing. I laugh a hell of a lot, and cry. I fully own my emotions.
Q) What do you love about your body?
QUICK FIRE ROUND
Q) What are your top 3 pleasure essentials (tools, toys, resources etc)?
Q) What’s an unexpected moment that brought you pleasure this week?
It was so fucking hot. I asked if we could stay on the bike and keep riding and he was delighted that I was so happy and not nervous. We rode, laughed, and kissed like crazy in the traffic filled town.
I felt like a teenager again, I left the seat so fucking wet where I had been sitting!