Image: Adrian CarmodyUNDER THE COVERS
Dive ‘Under The Covers’ with Yinn and friends in our series dedicated to exploring, honouring, and celebrating our intimate individualism. Together we discuss sexuality, self-love, culture, pleasure essentials, and so much more juicy goodness!
An interview with Certified Sex educator, writer and speaker Eleanor Hadley, known for her embodied lap dance and Art of Seduction teachings.
Image: Justin Fitzgibbon
She is also the resident Pleasure Expert for sexual wellness brand, Frenchie. Eleanor hosts popular podcast 'The Sensuality Academy' and is the co-founder of Aphrodisia, a community designed to inspire and educate on all things sapphic intimacy for a queer femme audience.
Q) What are your pronouns and how do you sexually identify?
My pronouns are she/her and I identify as late-blooming bisexual.
To me, it’s a beautiful reminder that we all deserve to be exactly who we are and there are no limits to love and expression. As a newbie to the queer community, it’s a lovely reminder that the relative ease of my personal journey is thanks to the strength and tenacity of all the advocates who came before me.
I’m so embarrassed to admit this! I have Tik Tok to thank for my queer awakening. I think it’s a familiar tale by now, but I was one of the ones who got caught on lesbian Tik Tok during lockdown, my for you page filled with hot women and non-binary folks thirst trapping left, right and centre and your girl was confused!
Q) How can we be better allies throughout the year, not just during Pride Month?
It wasn’t until I was chatting with a friend that I realised not everyone’s FYP was flooded with queer babes that I realised maybe the algorithm knew something that I didn’t - like, doesn’t everyone think women are hot and low-key want to kiss them?
I then spent a while digging up some repressed memories of having drunken sex with women in my twenties and realised that might be indicative of something. There was a bit of internalised biphobia to work through too, as I thought since I still really liked men, surely I wasn’t queer. Thankfully, I now know I’m definitely bisexual and feel really content within that identity.
I think one small (yet huge) way to be a wonderful ally is to stand up for your queer friends and family even, and especially, when they’re not there. Call out homophobic or transphobic comments or ‘jokes’, correct people when they use the wrong pronouns and be a safe space for people.
I always had a sense that sex was something that shouldn’t really be discussed, that it was improper to do so. And yet, at the same time, television and media made me feel like I was meant to be amazing at it, meant to ‘perform’ sex and that my purpose as a woman was to please men.
Image: Emily McCoy
Q) If you had the chance, what would you tell your younger self about sex now?
Prioritise your pleasure, baby! Sex is wonderful, and you deserve to feel pleasure and bliss and connection and intimacy. Also, don’t let them rush you! Good sex takes time - let it be slow, build up your arousal and you’ll be in for something amazing.
Wildly so! Sex is so powerful and delicious and I believe everyone deserves to feel sexual, to express their sexuality and explore their pleasure potential. I’m not exaggerating when I say that embracing my innate sensuality and sexuality has changed my life. Life feels so much sweeter and juicier when you’re open.
Slow living, sunshine on my skin, self-touch and sensual movement are my non-negotiables when it comes to my personal self-care practices. These simple things, along with time in nature, ocean swims and long walks allow me to get out of my head and into my body.
I love how my body is designed to experience pleasure, my softness, suppleness and the way my body feels underneath my own touch. Physically, I really love my tits too, let’s be real haha.
Q) What are your top 3 pleasure essentials?
I love listening to smutty romance novels. I feel like they sort of keep my libido at a steady simmer, stoking the fire if you will. Then I’ll opt for audio erotica when I’m indulging in a self-pleasure sesh. I’m always armed with my splash blanket and some delicious oil-based lube for these moments too.
I had a past lover reach out, reminiscing about a sexcapade we had in Mexico years ago, which led to some delicious sexting and exchange of sensual selfies. Lots of fun!
Q) Favourite song to get you in the mood?
Fuck Me & Feed Me by Rendezvous At Two
Image: Kimberley van Soest
Q) Favourite ritual related to self pleasure?
I’ll pop on my sensual playlist, turn the lights down low, candles and salt lamps on and hop into the shower to indulge in some sensual self-touch. Once I’m out of the shower, I’ll take myself to a cosy spot on the floor of my bedroom, set myself up in front of a big round mirror and drip myself in The Body Oil, massaging it in to my skin and allowing my body to intuitively move to the music, circling and grinding, waving my body under my self-touch, seducing myself in the mirror. I’ll gently work my way from the outside in, teasing myself as I get closer to my centre and then taking myself to heaven.
Many of my friends are really sexually open and many of our conversations revolve around sex and pleasure and relationships. My insta feed is now filled with so many incredible sex educators, dancers and sensualists who constantly inspire me to explore new edges and depths of my sexuality and sensual expression, which is so refreshing.
Q) How can people find you? What's the best way to buy your stuff/work with you?
Website - www.eleanorhadley.com
Instagram - @eleanorhadley
Sunroom - https://sunroom.so/eleanorhadley
The Sensuality Academy Podcast- https://open.spotify.com/show/2qgVxzF4XSPH9KkuaoHOj4?si=TNhd1jqmSL6QClk-rur8RA
Follow @yinnbody on Instagram for more juicy interviews & sensual tips.