Hands up if you’re a bit apprehensive about anal? The “wrong hole” gets bumped and your entire body involuntarily shoots to the other side of the room?
Maybe you’ve tried in the past but you just couldn’t relax into it and it was painful or uncomfortable so you resist wanting to try it again.
We are pro-anal at Yinn and we want to support you in feeling as safe and relaxed as possible when you are learning to love anal play.
Anal doesn’t always have to be about phallic penetration.
It’s quite normal for anal play to be a little uncomfortable the first few times you try it, the muscles in the anus contract involuntarily and that can be triggered when you are nervous, uncomfortable or experiencing something new.
However, you most certainly shouldn’t experience pain during anal play.
Experiencing pleasure in and around the anus should be slow, relaxed and very wet. The anus is not self lubricating so a lot of lube is absolutely essential. You will experience less discomfort with more lube and when you’re just starting to explore this pleasure zone, you want to do all you can to minimise discomfort. And most of all, if you are sharing this experience with a partner, open and honest communication is important.
It can be tempting to use some kind of numbing lube, however we would personally caution against it as it’s important to listen to your body and what feels good and what doesn’t (if you're numb, you won't feel as much, hence you won't know how ready you are). We don’t want to turn off those sensitive nerve endings and do any kind of harm to our bodies.
Before attempting penetration, focus on gentle massage around the perineum and anus, relaxing into it as much as you can and enjoying the sensation massage, experimenting with different pressures and motions. If you're with a vulva-owner, ensure you have warmed up your lover with plenty of clitoral and vaginal licking, sucking and touching. The more open and aroused you are - the more receptive you will be for anal.
Applying gentle pressure to the anus opening will give you a guide as to whether you are warmed up and relaxed, if the finger isn’t invited in, go back to massage and relaxing into that external pleasure.This may be as far as you get for the first time and that’s ok, there’s no race to anal penetration and porn style back door orgasms. That’s just not realistic.
If you’re ready to start experimenting with penetrative pleasure, we encourage the use of a narrow and clean finger or a small anal toy, whether that be a small butt plug or a thin wand like this one: The Medusa by Yoni Pleasure Palace. The Lulu is another beautiful glass wand that may be the perfect addition to your anal play exploration.
HOT TIP: Ensure that your fingernails are clipped & filed down, hands are clean and even slip on a regular condom or finger condom onto your finger for a smooth, easeful entry.
Start gentle, slow and shallow. As much as you may just want to get in there, the slower and shallower to start, the better it’s going to feel. It’s going to allow you to relax more and the slower you go, the smoother and more enjoyable your whole experience will be.
Did we mention lube? Use loads of it! (Our Oil Based Lube is exceptional for anal stimulation).
A washable and waterproof blanket is a must have (get our chocolate mocha Splash Blanket here), the reality is anal play can get messy, with the amount of lube you use, there’s likely to be a wet patch and no one loves a wet patch + you’re playing in an area that is an exit, there is always a possibility for a little mess and honestly it’s no big deal. Everyone who engages in anal play knows the risks and it doesn’t have to be a cause for embarrassment. We’re all adults here.
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again (when you feel ready, open and safe to explore this with a trusting lover or partner!). As mentioned, exploring this pleasure zone is about going slow and feeling safe, you may engage in play and exploration quite a few times before you feel ready for anything penetrative and that’s totally ok.
Trust your body, don’t force anything, and if sharing this experience with a partner, make sure you’re communicating clearly. They aren’t mind readers and this is a great trust building occasion.
Follow us over at @yinnbody on Instagram for more inspiration.