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Relationships come in a myriad of shapes and forms. Monogamy is always an option; as is polyamory. Friends with benefits is a label as old as time; whereas some prefer not to use labels at all.

Every now and then, couples who are committed to each other and usually monogamous, choose to open their relationship. This can be for a number of reasons – all relevant and unique to that particular couple.

If opening your relationship is something that you and your other half have spoken about, Juliet Allen, founder of Yinn™ and Pleasure School™ recommends that you go through the motions mindfully.

Before you pursue this option, ensure that both people are equally as interested in opening the relationship – and be honest. “If one person wants to open and the other person is a maybe or a no, you won’t have a great outcome,” Allen says on The Authentic Sex Podcast. “You both need to be committed to ‘let’s give this a go’.”


Communication is key.

Get clear on what an open relationship would look like in your own, unique scenario. Allen suggests asking your partner, “If we were to open, what would this look like for both of us? How do we see the opening will unfold? What are our priorities? Do we want to invite somebody into the relationship that we are both with? Or do we want to open and interact with other people separately? And if that’s the case, do we feel like we would like to meet those people beforehand?”

“As the couple, it’s great to find someone, or manifest that you find someone, who can honour and respect the love and sacredness between you as a couple,” Allen suggests.

Finally, before jumping into bed with someone new, take stock of where your relationship is at in its current state and what kind of energy is flowing. Are you tossing around the idea of an open relationship as a band aid solution for something else? Or are you and your partner functioning at a level where the loving energy is overflowing and there’s enough to energetically embrace another person?

From start to finish and all the way throughout, the key to opening a relationship is honest, unfiltered conversation. Talk, talk and when you think you’re out of words, talk some more.

Rest. Receive. Surrender.