UNDER THE COVERS
Dive ‘Under The Covers’ with Yinn and friends in our series dedicated to exploring, honouring, and celebrating our intimate individualism. Together we discuss sexuality, self-love, culture, pleasure essentials, and so much more juicy goodness!
An interview with Doctor Isabela Bottura, Gynaecology and Obstetrics specialist and pleasure-based and health-informed sex, love and relationship coach.
ABOUT ISABELA
I’m a Pleasure Expert, passionate about normalising sex and pleasure. I am a Brazilian medical doctor, specialising in Gynaecology and Obstetrics, and also a certified Sex, Love and Relationships Coach. I define myself as a pleasure-based and health-informed sex educator, and my work creates a bridge between sacred sexuality practices and science. I am the creator of “The Science of Pleasure”, a certification that teaches sex coaches, sexologists, and other sexuality professionals how to become health-informed sex experts.
Q) What are your pronouns, and how do you sexually identify?
My preferred pronouns are she/her. I am a cis queer woman, and polyamorous.Q) What does Pride mean to you?
To me, Pride means feeling free and empowered to be my authentic self, experiencing my sexuality with no shame. It’s the freedom of not trying to fit in a box of how my appearance, my relationships, or my self-expression should look like.Q) What is your favourite thing about Pride Month?
To me, Pride means feeling free and empowered to be my authentic self, experiencing my sexuality with no shame. It’s the freedom of not trying to fit in a box of how my appearance, my relationships, or my self-expression should look like.
Q) Tell us about your sexuality journey.
Sure! My sexuality journey is a little bit unusual. It walks along with my sexual exploration journey. For the first 29 years of my life, I thought I was straight – I’ve never even considered that it could be any other way, to be honest. Then one day, after ending a 6 year relationship and moving to Australia, I felt the desire and finally found the courage to start exploring my sexual fantasies. I decided to have a threesome. The easy part was to download an app and find the perfect couple, but I was still feeling super nervous about my interaction with the woman. After all, she was bisexual and I was straight, and had never even kissed a woman. Little did I know I was going to feel so attracted and connected to her. That made me question all the conditionings I had around my sexuality, and from that day on I understood I am attracted to people regardless of their sex or gender.Q) How can we be better allies throughout the year, not just during Pride Month?
Educating ourselves around what we don’t know, understanding that it is ok to make mistakes. Owning our mistakes and apologising if we hurt someone. Not assuming someone’s pronouns, gender, or sexuality by the way they look. Always acting out of love and respect.
Q) What was the main message about sex and sexuality that you received growing up?
Although I grew up in a sex positive home, I was impacted by the poor sex education they teach us in school, that focus on fear of STIs and pregnancy, instead of acknowledging how beautiful and normal sex and pleasure are. I also had a hormonal imbalance that required me to go to a doctor very often when I was little, to check on my sex hormone levels and be examined. That brought me a lot of blockages around self-pleasure and made me insecure about the appearance of my vulva. It also influenced on how comfortable I felt with sexual partners for many years in my life. It wasn’t until I started going to sacred sexuality workshops and working on my self-love that I was able to heal from those wounds. 
Q) If you had the chance, what would you tell your younger self about sex now?
Sex is beautiful, and one of the most beautiful gifts of our human experience. It is a source of pleasure, energy, creativity. Something you get to explore on your own, and a beautiful experience that can be shared with people you trust. It can be sacred and intimate, or fun and playful. Have fun, love, play! Feel! And always remember to listen to yourself and to your body, respect your yes’ and no’s. Your pussy is wise.
Q) How important do you believe it is to embrace our sexuality?
Fundamental! Embracing my sexuality, feeling sexually liberated, has completely changed the way I do life and my relationship with people around me. Feeling comfortable in our bodies and sexuality is a key element to living an authentic life.
Q) What do self-care and self-love look like for you?
Listening to my body, to my intuition. Slowing down. Spending lots of time with myself and in nature – especially in water. When I remember how I’m one with nature and how beautiful it is, it’s impossible for me not to truly love myself.
Q) What do you love most about your body?
I love my body’s curves, and small details such as three tiny moles that I have next to my belly button. I also love how my body is capable of experience pleasure from the most unusual parts of it being touched, such as the inner part of my elbow, or my armpit.
Q) What are your top 3 pleasure essentials?
So hard to choose only 3! But I’ll go with: Breath, Sound and Lube. Breathwork is something that completely changed my experience of pleasure. I can bring myself to an orgasmic state just from breath itself, without touch. Such a powerful tool!
Sounding the sensations as I feel them enhance pleasure and bring me out of my head and back to the present moment.
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Q) What’s an unexpected moment that brought you pleasure this week?
A cold ocean swim after coming back from a long trip. I love the fine line between pain and pleasure in my body when I’m immersed in cold water. And then the deliciousness of the warm sun on my skin after the swim.
Q) Favourite song to get you in the mood?
Q) Favourite ritual related to self pleasure?
Slow, passionate kissing to start is a must. If at home (or planned sexy holidays), I love having my Squirt Blanket, that allows me to feel safe and be present, not worrying about any possible mess.Q) Do you have any particular people in your life who inspire you to be a sexually empowered person?
I have the most amazing group of friends who I met during my coaching training a few years ago. We have a group chat where we celebrate our wins, witness and support each other in our vulnerabilities, and of course share all the juicy, spicy details from our love and dating lives. Having them seeing me, loving me, and celebrating me in my authentic sexual self is sooooo empowering!
Q) How can people find you? What's the best way to buy your stuff/work with you?
The best place to see my work is my Instagram @isabela.bottura. There, I teach all about pleasure, different types of orgasm, and debunk myths around sex. My website, for my course and free resources, is http://isabelabottura.com
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