By Natasha Weiss

You may have a lot of feelings when it comes to your vulva and vagina. Although it’s the root of so much pleasure, connection, and creation in all different senses, it can also carry shame, confusion, and discomfort.

Although you may share it with people sometimes, this is your body, and you get to heal and redefine your relationship with it. Everyone has their own stories and carries different walls that may get in the way of their connection with their vulva. 

A powerful practice you can use to help break down these walls is self-vulva massage. 

Set The Space


You wouldn’t walk into a spa and see laundry on the massage bed and cluttered tables, so do the same for your home “spa”.

Tidy your space as much as you can, and then set the scene so that you can fully relax. You may want to light some candles and incense, create an altar, and put out fresh flowers.

Grab Your Tools

Next, you’ll want to lay out any tools that may come in handy during your massage session.

A heated blanket or heating pad is a nice touch on your neck or belly. You’ll also want a body-safe lubricant. Although your hands work great, you can also utilise your pleasure wand as a massage tool.

Drop-In To Your Body

Once your supplies are set, it’s time to ease yourself into the space you’ve created, and into your body. Lay down and find a comfortable position. Feel free to use pillows and blankets to prop yourself up where necessary so that you can fully relax.

After you’ve found a comfortable position, take a minute to check in with your body and notice where you’re feeling tension and any other feelings that are coming up. Take some deep breaths into your belly, and settle in.

Explore and Connect

When you feel settled, you can start by gently touching yourself on your belly, thighs, and breasts. Then slowly move toward your vulva and just take a moment to hold it without doing anything.

When you feel ready, take your lube and warm it up in your hands. Take your time massaging your outer labia, inner labia, mons pubis, and the outer edges of your vagina. Slowly work your way towards any places that are calling to you. You can try different massage techniques like rubbing, kneading, caressing, and using your pleasure wand if you’d like a more firm sensation.

Although this is a form of self-love, vulva massage is different from masturbation. You’re not doing it with any sort of goal (like orgasm), and you’re probably touching yourself in places that you might not usually get to. That being said, it can be used as a way of self-foreplay before you dial things up a notch.

Take a bit to reflect on how you feel after, and maybe even journal about your experience!

Enjoyed this article? Read Increase Confidence To Boost Your Sex Life.

December 27, 2023