We’ve all heard the saying “to truly love another, you must first love yourself” *eye roll* or something to that effect, but as women that can be a challenge.
We are conditioned to always believe something is inherently wrong with who we are and how we look. When we come into adulthood, we are expected to know what we want and love ourselves. (I say bull, you say sh*t: Bull…… )
Come on, you’ve read enough Cosmo to know exactly how to experience pleasure, orgasms, have a flawless relationship & dress like a billionaire on a budget - but also that you don’t look like the women on the pages - so what works for them probably won’t work for you! (reminder, all women are different and Cosmo is a terrible reference for life & love).
Loving yourself isn’t a one and done thing - it’s an ongoing journey of connection, appreciation and commitment, a commitment to yourself. When you embrace, accept and even love all parts of you, all other areas of your life start to flourish. Your friendships, your career, your intimate relationships.
Women go through so many changes in their lives that impact the way they look and feel. Puberty, pregnancy, postpartum, menopause, trauma and stress. All of these experiences, hormonal and otherwise create physical, mental and emotional changes.
So let’s look at some ways that you can fall in love with yourself at whatever stage of life you’re in. Integrate these 5 things into a daily practice and commit to at least 30 days and see how much reverence you hold for your home.
1. Dry Body Brushing
Brushing upward toward the heart, brush each and every part of you that you can reach in smooth strokes, alternating with your bare hand so you can feel your skin.
Example: stroke with dry brush from your toes to ankle, use your hand to follow the same path, so your hands, once in a rhythm will be rotating one another. Follow this motion all the way up your legs, your juicy behind, your hips, your belly, your arms. When you get to your chest, gently brush toward your armpits.
2. Essential Oils In A Hot Shower With A Cold Rinse
Popping a few drops of a loving essential oil on a wash cloth on the floor of a steamy shower is a beautiful way to activate your senses. Some great oils for love and connection are rose, ylang ylang or lavender.
Allow the steam to rise around your body and as you’re washing visualise washing away any negative attachments to your body, memories, thoughts, experiences. Before you hop out, blast your body with a cold water rinse - it’s not fun - but it’s enlivening! + Your boobs will look extra lush when they are cold!
3. Gratitude with Body Massage
Start loving on your body with a luxurious body oil (try Yinn Body Oil), and give gratitude to every inch, naming exactly what you’re grateful for. For example: "I’m grateful for my toes for helping me balance and continue this across your whole body". This is 10 times more powerful if you’re doing it in front of the mirror. If emotions come up, allow them to flow through you. This is deeply healing work.
4. Your Underwear Choice
Choose underwear that makes you feel nice. They don’t have to be lacy erotic numbers but babe, chuck those ratty comfies in the bin and buy some new comfies that make you feel nice! Soft cotton or organic bamboo is always a winner. And don't forget to choose a cut that feels comfortable for you.
5. Non-Sexual Massage
Every night before bed or in bed, massage the parts of your body that you struggle to love and accept. Your belly, your breasts, your thighs, booty, hair, face, vulva. This doesn’t have to be a sexual thing, but sending loving gratitude into these areas of your body where we hold on to so much as women is a powerful practice.
Some other recommendations just for life in general: moving your body, self pleasure (use your hands, not a vibrator - feel yourself) and walk about the house naked.
Share in the comments below what works best for you.