UNDER THE COVERS
Dive ‘Under The Covers’ with Yinn and friends in our new series dedicated to exploring, honouring, and celebrating our intimate individualism. Together we discuss sexuality, self-love, culture, pleasure essentials, and so much more juicy goodness!
An interview with Kinesiologist, Intuitive Healer, and Doula Zoe Bosco
ABOUT ZOE
For Zoe, Kinesiology is an artistry of the inner world. When you see yourself as your greatest masterpiece, you have the power to consciously cultivate new ways of being that support you to create and manifest your dream life. Connect with Zoe and explore her incredible offerings via her instagram.
Q) What was the main message about sex and sexuality that you received growing up?
Sex wasn’t something that was discussed openly or freely around me when I was growing up. The exploration and expression of my sexuality felt like something I had to hide, deny, and shut down. I felt a lot of embarrassment in wanting to know more about sex and shy about my curiosity. I remember feeling like I had to be in love and in a committed relationship with someone before I could explore intimacy and sexual desire. Although this helped me to be quite discerning with who I engaged with, it also meant that when I did connect with someone, I invested way too much time, energy, and heart in people that weren’t right for me and relationships that ended up being unhealthy and restrictive.
Coming into menarche as a young woman was relieving because I was the last to get my period out of all my friends, but it was also extremely painful and something I numbed with pills each month so I could keep up with the fast pace of life and the expectations that came with it. Having a menstrual cycle wasn’t seen as something to be celebrated at that time in my life, nor was it to be listened to, honoured by slowing down and nurturing self, or revered for its innate wisdom. The main message I took on at that time was that it was an inconvenience and another thing women were “burdened” with.
Coming into menarche as a young woman was relieving because I was the last to get my period out of all my friends, but it was also extremely painful and something I numbed with pills each month so I could keep up with the fast pace of life and the expectations that came with it. Having a menstrual cycle wasn’t seen as something to be celebrated at that time in my life, nor was it to be listened to, honoured by slowing down and nurturing self, or revered for its innate wisdom. The main message I took on at that time was that it was an inconvenience and another thing women were “burdened” with.
Q) How did you begin to explore and establish your own beliefs around sex and sexuality?
It wasn’t until my early 30’s that I truly began to lean into my sexuality and explore my body, intimacy, and connection with real conscious intention. I began reading books on conscious relating, tantra and exploring sacred sexuality through workshops and immersive style retreats. This expanded my awareness of healthy integrated sexuality and supported me to embody my sensuality with a sense of pride and honour. I found a lot of medicine in cultivating a loving relationship with myself and developing a healthy relationship with my body through intuitive dance, self-care rituals, and pleasure practices. All of this has supported me to evolve my beliefs around sex and my unique expression of sexuality in a way that allows me to feel liberated, deserving, and free, which is a very precious and beautiful feeling.
Q) If you had the chance, what would you tell your younger self about sex now?
I would share that your sexual essence is an innate and sacred part of you, worthy of being loved, explored, enjoyed, expressed, shared, and fully embraced. Your body is your temple and pleasure is your birth-rite. Listen to your intuition and allow the wisdom of your body to guide you. Sex can be a beautiful invitation to explore connection with yourself and others, a way to feel deeply and expand your capacity to love, create, and manifest. Allow yourself to be curious and take your time to feel into what it is that you desire in each moment. What you desire will change along with where you are at in your cycle, so give yourself permission to listen to your body and honour what it needs, wants, and desires from moment-to-moment. This will make for a beautiful, exciting, fulfilling, and satisfying relationship with your sexual essence.
Q) How important do you believe it is to embrace our sexuality?
To embrace our sexuality is to allow ourselves to be whole, powerful, and deeply connected. Our sexuality is a channel of experience, expression, and creation. It affords us the ability to feel deeply and connect with self, other, and life in a way that nourishes, rejuvenates, and inspires. It is our life force energy, the ecstatic current that nourishes our bodies, ignites our dreams, and breathes life into all that exists. Embracing, accepting, and embodying our sexuality is to honour life and the gift of existing in this exquisite, wild, and wonderful world. I believe that when we embrace our sexuality, we embrace our true power, and we can embody ourselves in a way that emanates liberation and respect of our unique essence.
Q) What do self-care and self-love look like for you?
For me self-love and self-care go together. I have been intentionally cultivating a loving, caring and devotional relationship with myself for many years now, as I now know that this is the foundation from which everything else in my life grows and flourishes. Self-love and self-care can take on many different forms, but ultimately it comes down to honouring myself, and meeting my needs, wants, and desires to the best of my ability. Connecting in with myself and being the best lover, nurturer, and cheerleader, I can be for myself. Making sure I prioritise time alone to fill up my cup and create space for the practices and rituals that bring me home to myself.
In a practical sense, self-care and self-love looks like creating space to be still and present with my heart, womb, and body on a daily basis. Tea Ceremony and Womb Rituals are my favourite way to self-regulate, self-heal and source wisdom from within. I find a lot of beauty in connecting my hands to my body intuitively, breathing into wherever they land and bringing my full presence into my inner realm. I will draw on different tools that will support wherever I am at in the moment. To name a few, I may use kinesiology to harmonise my chakras and auric field, I might use breathing techniques to regulate my nervous system or hold space for emotions to be felt and released. These practices support me to live from a full cup, they help me to dream, envision, create, and connect to aligned inspired action from a well-nourished and abundantly resourced space.
Most recently I have been deepening my embodiment of honouring my truth and living in integrity with my true yes and honest no without hesitation, apology, or over explaining. Honouring my time and energy for the precious resources that they are. Valuing the life I have lived, the wisdom I hold, and what I have to offer in a whole new way, and in that valuing the life I have to live at a whole new depth. Everything feels so precious and sacred, all I want to do is honour this beautiful gift of life and serve my time here well by living into the greatest version of myself and doing this existence proud.
In a practical sense, self-care and self-love looks like creating space to be still and present with my heart, womb, and body on a daily basis. Tea Ceremony and Womb Rituals are my favourite way to self-regulate, self-heal and source wisdom from within. I find a lot of beauty in connecting my hands to my body intuitively, breathing into wherever they land and bringing my full presence into my inner realm. I will draw on different tools that will support wherever I am at in the moment. To name a few, I may use kinesiology to harmonise my chakras and auric field, I might use breathing techniques to regulate my nervous system or hold space for emotions to be felt and released. These practices support me to live from a full cup, they help me to dream, envision, create, and connect to aligned inspired action from a well-nourished and abundantly resourced space.
Most recently I have been deepening my embodiment of honouring my truth and living in integrity with my true yes and honest no without hesitation, apology, or over explaining. Honouring my time and energy for the precious resources that they are. Valuing the life I have lived, the wisdom I hold, and what I have to offer in a whole new way, and in that valuing the life I have to live at a whole new depth. Everything feels so precious and sacred, all I want to do is honour this beautiful gift of life and serve my time here well by living into the greatest version of myself and doing this existence proud.
Q) What do you love about your body?
It feels so beautiful to have come to a point in my life where I feel a genuine sense of true love and appreciation for my body. I love being a woman with curves, breasts, and a powerful magickal womb. I love living through the seasons of my cycle and honouring the different rhythms and expressions of womanhood.
Q) What are your top 3 pleasure essentials (tools, toys, resources etc)?
Cervical pleasure wand (oh my), beautiful bouquet of deep red roses for aesthetic pleasure, and velvety smooth body oil infused with frankincense and rose for the way it grounds me into my body and opens my heart.
Q) What’s an unexpected moment that brought you pleasure this week?
I am beginning to have a whole new experience with my menstrual cycle. I have always experienced pain with my period, to the extent that I have ended up in hospital on multiple occasions. This past year, as I have become more and more devotional with cycle care rituals. I have had increasing amounts of pleasure sensations when I bleed and no need for pain killers. I am experiencing so much pleasure slowing down, being still, and inward when I bleed. I feel pleasure physically, energetically, and emotionally. There is a sense of relief and a homecoming to my birth rite, to feel pleasure and a sense of power, magic, and awe when I bleed. My blood has just arrived, and pleasure is still somewhat unexpected as it has not been the norm. But I am excited to say that my bleed has been gentle, blissful and pleasure filled once more.
Q) Favourite song to get you in the mood?
This is a hard one for me, nothing exactly comes to mind, but I know it needs to be slow, sexy, and sensual. Desire invoking, something that inspires my hips to move and my heart to open.
Q) Favourite ritual related to sex?
I love indulging the senses with soft candlelight, delicious essential oils, silky slips, and music without lyrics. Loving heart massage, strong firm touch to bring me into my body, deep slow gentle breathing, and pure loving presence.
Q) Do you have any particular people in your life who inspire you to be a sexually empowered person?
I feel very blessed to have many incredible women around me who are embodied in their sexuality. My past relationship inspired me to explore my sexuality in a way that I never had before, which was so special and incredibly expansive. I work with a few mentors and practitioners that support me to deepen my connection with my sexuality in a truly liberated way. Jamy Miranda and Zapheria Bell have played a huge role in my journey. Most recently, I picked up the book Slow Pleasure by Euphemia Russell and simply by holding it in my hands and reading the first few pages I feel more empowered.