Whether you are having a casual encounter, embarking on a new situationship or are in a
longer term relationship, consciously choosing your lover is so important.
When we consciously choose our lover / partner, we are more likely to authentically immerse
ourselves in the connection, opening ourselves to experiencing more pleasure.
Consciously CHOOSING your lover means really focussing on the reasons WHY you have
chosen to spend time, share energy and engage with the other person.
For a casual encounter, this may look like simply being incredibly attracted to the person.
You may really love aspects of their character, the energy you share or the way they make
you feel.
For a long term lover / partner, this may look like taking time to regularly reflect and remind
yourself WHY you continue to choose this person and have them in your life.
It can be so easy to fall into routine sex, relationships and intimacy. This can be due to
safety, familiarity and sometimes it can just happen without even realising.
Before we know it, we are no longer consciously and actively CHOOSING our lover / partner.
This is incredibly human and happens often.
The most healthy and abundant relationships THRIVE when both lovers continue to
consciously choose each other, over time.
Taking the time to check in with yourself, your deeper desires, wants and needs is essential
in knowing WHY you choose to share intimacy with another person.
How can I practice this?
Make space for reflection, you might enjoy using journal prompts like these to guide your
thoughts:
What do I want MOST from sex, intimacy & relationship/s right now?
What do I love about this person?
What do I admire about them?
How do I feel when I leave the space when we spend time together? Do I feel fulfilled,
peaceful, inspired, drained, confused, anxious, impartial?
What made me FIRST choose this person to spend time & space with?
What would my life look like without this person in it? What would that feel like?
Why do I continue to choose them?
Do these reasons align with what I currently want in life, love & intimacy?
When we make conscious decisions that align with our wants and desires, it can boost our
confidence and self esteem, reminding us that we deserve to enjoy the intimacy &
relationships that we spend time engaging in.
So next time you are with your lover, I want you to actively spend a moment reflecting on
your WHY.
Who is this person in front of you and WHY have you chosen to spend your time and energy
with them today?
With love,
Annalise x