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As we’ve already established, authentic sex is a journey not a destination. Sometimes the journey is a long and winding one, filled with breath work, heart to heart connection and eye contact or even biting, slapping and pinching. Other times, the journey is fast and snappy because hey, there are only so many hours in the day! Whether you’re in for a quickie or a marathon, there’s one stop along the way that we highly recommend: blow jobs.

“The best gift that you can give a man when you’re giving head, and the best gift that you can receive as a man with a penis, is the gift of genuinely and authentically loving and worshipping his cock,” Juliet Allen, leading Australian sexologist and founder of Yinn.™ says on The Authentic Sex Podcast. “If you’re thinking ‘shit, well I don’t have that’, then maybe oral sex isn’t for you, or you’re with the wrong man, or maybe you need to have a conversation about hygiene.” Alternatively, you might just be lacking in confidence.

One way to enjoy giving blow jobs is to have a few tricks up your sleeve to help you feel confident and empowered. Here, how to give a mind-blowing blow job in five steps:

Step 1: Start slow

Did you know that men enjoy slow, sensual foreplay just as much as women? Take your time as you tease him. Kiss his lips, neck, chest, stomach and inner thighs; as you reach his cock, notice as his body begins to move subtly as he begs for you to begin.

Don’t rush the process; make him yearn for it.

Step 2: Lick him from shaft to tip

By now, he should be begging for it. Begin by licking him from the bottom of the shaft to the tip. There’s more to a blow job than bobbing up and down with his penis in your mouth; having said that, licking is one way you can induce pleasure. Don't forget to gently caress his balls with your hands, lips and tongue too.

Step 3: Get handsy

Place your hands at the base of his shaft and slowly massage up and down while your mouth is sucking and licking the head of his penis. At the same time, circle and suck on the head, giving the frenulum attention, too (flick the tip of your tongue on this sensitive area and notice if this increases his pleasure response).

Step 4: Make it a slip n slide

Unlike the vagina, penises don’t have a natural lubrication source; however, a slippery cock will feel good for him and you. Ensure his cock is well lubricated using your mouth (yes, your spit will do) or by applying The Lubricant by Yinn™.

Step 5: Live in the moment

If you’re feeling it, let your man know that you’re worshipping his cock. Turn on the lights; give him a show; don’t be afraid to let out a moan as you give him head. He will pick up on your energy and you will both enjoy the experience all the more for it.

Rest. Receive. Surrender.