Take a deep belly breath right now.
Your breath is an incredibly powerful tool.
Not only does it keep you going through life, but it’s also a tool you can use intentionally.
You’ve probably heard of breath work and intentional breathing for stress relief, but what about for better orgasms?
There’s so much going on when you’re in the heat of the moment, that you might not be thinking about breathing. You might even find yourself holding your breath, especially when you’re ramping up and getting closer to orgasm.
Tuning into your breath during sex, solo or partnered, can help you feel more present, more connected with yourself and/or partner, feel deeper pleasure, and have more intense orgasms.
Oxytocin and Arousal
A 2019 study found that women who practice mindful breathing may have an oxytocin system that is more responsive to arousal. Oxytocin is made in the brain during orgasm and is key for arousal and connection. Oxytocin is most famous for being the “love or cuddle hormone”.
When your body is well oxygenated and at ease, it’s easier for it to release oxytocin, so that you can get your lovin’ on.
Mindful breathing is also one of the best ways to ease stress and turn off your “fight or flight” response. Deep breathing helps to increase circulation, and get more blood pumping in *every* area of your body.
Sound too good to be true?
Try it for yourself.
Whether you’re an experienced mindful breather or brand new at this, integrating it into your sex life can feel like totally new territory.
Get comfortable with this practice by trying it on your own before doing it with a partner.
Next time you’re going to self-pleasure, try slowing down the experience.
Before you even start touching your vulva, try touching other areas of your body like your belly and your heart, and breathing into those areas. Feel your breath expand under your hands, and as it moves out of your body.
Do this for a minute or two before moving to your erogenous zones.
When you start masturbating, instead of rushing to get to a certain peak of pleasure, take your time to feel it build. How much can you slow down your breathing?
Can you feel your breath rushing into your pelvis? Let it create space and depth in your most sensitive spots.
As you get closer to orgasm (if that’s where you’re going), you can use your breath to “edge”. This is the practice of getting close to orgasm, but not going over quite yet, and repeating it until intense pleasure washes over you.
Allow your breath to return to normal. How was this experience different from when you normally self-pleasure?
After you become comfortable with your solo practice, you can try mindful breathing while having sex with a partner.
It can be hot to communicate what you’re doing with a partner. Try saying “Hey, I’ve been doing this new practice that’s been really potent on my own. I’d love to try it with you.”
Words are their own form of foreplay.
You can do the same sort of practice that you did in solo play, or try syncing your breath with your partner.
Do this for a minute before things get too hot and heavy. Listen and sync each other’s inhales and exhales. Continue on, you know what to do next.
Bonus tip: If you find yourself in your head a lot when you’re having sex with someone else, breathing is an incredible way to get back into your body.